My Biggest Challenges As A New Mom; What They Don’t Tell You About The 4th Trimester


This first trimester after Henry’s birth—the 4th trimester—was not at all what I expected. It was so much harder in every way than I thought but it also was so exciting and beautiful. Here’s a breakdown of my first three months as a mother.

Week One

The first week postpartum was the hardest. I had to wear pads and disposable underwear because I constantly bled. Every 2 hour, I needed to feed the baby, so I got no sleep. I was still in pain from delivery, had no time to shower or take care of myself, and was very overwhelmed with the new lifestyle and not knowing how to care for a newborn. It was a lot, to say the least.

Weeks Two and Three

They were a little bit better than that first week. The bleeding eventually stopped by week 3, but it was still very painful to go to the bathroom. 

I realized my body will never be what it was and that brought my confidence down to zero. I missed having the chance to go out whenever I wanted to without having to take Henry with me or find a babysitter. Not that he’s a pain to travel with, he does great in the car like most babies, but I didn’t realize how much freedom there was before having kids.

Even though I was running on little sleep, I spent all my focus on work while Henry took naps. I needed something to focus on other than my low self-esteem.

Weeks Four and Five

Here, we were figuring out a routine with nursing and pumping with the help of a lactation consultant and breastfeeding group. I got out of the house more and realized how much I enjoy the little things, like grocery shopping, and going on walks with Henry almost every day to get movement in. I started to feel better about myself, and I started to get more sleep at night (much needed).

Around this time we started cloth diapering Henry, and it’s so simple and easy! I have a hamper with a reusable liner in it to catch the dirty diapers, then I just dump the entire bag into the washing machine and wash his diapers like anything else, no touching or pre-washing required. Then I’ll hang outside to sun bleach to get poop stains out and tumble dry on low.

Week Six

I visited the OBGYN and received approval to work out and have sex, but I still wasn’t confident and that was putting a wall up between my husband and I. My marriage was taking a hit. The intimacy was almost gone between us. I was way too tired to put effort into our marriage and was too busy caring for the baby to care or try. Once I started to exercise, I realized I can no longer do what I could even while pregnant as far as cardio and strength training goes. I started having some real breakdowns this week.

Weeks Seven, Eight, and Nine

I started personal training sessions to get my strength back. I followed my TNT’s nutrition plan to make sure I get enough nutrients for breastfeeding (without consuming too many calories). Family helped watch Henry so I could get errands done and take care of the house as well as get work done—that was a real turning point for me during this trimester.

Week 10

Silver lining time! My relationship with my hubby has improved. We realized we have different parenting styles but we’re compromising. We took a weekend trip to go have fun and get out of the house and rekindle the fire.

Then, I went back to work in the office and Henry started daycare, which meant I had to change our nursing routine. There isn’t a private room in the office for me to pump in, so I use the bathroom during my lunch break to pump once a day instead of every time I would feed Henry (every 2.5-3 hours). Thankfully, I still make a good supply—and my sanity remains intact.

Weeks 11 and 12

Henry is sleeping through the night getting 7 hours most nights! This means we’re getting the sleep we need, too! I’m still adjusting to the new pumping/nursing routine and have woke up very engorged and leaked through my shirts. Sometimes I will wake up Henry for a feeding in the middle of the night just to give myself some relief.

I’m exercising more and have started accepting my new normal and building up confidence in myself. I’m busier than ever with work and I stay up late to get projects done for clients. We’re looking for a new house since we’re running out of space.

We had a “sip ‘n see” baby shower hosted by my sister-in-law and we loved hanging out with our friends and family and seeing them meet Henry. He is growing fast and is almost too big for the 0-3 month clothes, so it was very helpful to get new onesies and pajamas for him from the party.

What Happened to Maternity Leave?

I originally planned on taking 3 months of maternity leave, but I decided I needed to go back to work in the office as soon as daycare would take him, I had to get out of the house and be social. 

I worked from home as much as I could the entire time. I even had my parents bring my computer to the hospital the day after delivering Henry so I could get some work completed. You could say I’m a workaholic like my dad.

I spent quite a bit of time this summer working on the backend of my business and updating the curriculum for Driven by Social, my 4-week social media online class for race teams and drivers since I knew I wouldn’t have time for it later on this year. 

Because I like challenges, I opened up the VIP private group coaching part of the course just a few days before Henry arrived, but I handled both duties pretty well given my limited schedule to work while he slept. My team handled things like designing the workbook, writing and sending emails, and running Facebook and Instagram ads. 

I’m thankful for the ability to outsource these tasks to part-time help to allow me to use the little bits of free time I have to focus on the areas of my business that need me the most, like recording videos and communicating to sponsors.

I also launched Fueled and Funded in September with the help of my team, and we’re currently in the middle of our 10-week coaching schedule. I took on a few private coaching sessions as well and am currently wrapping up sponsorship decks for a handful of teams. 

Thanks for sticking along for this whole year-long journey into first-time motherhood! I can’t wait to see how my family and business grow in the coming months.

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